#1: Welcome – Guide for a better reading comprehension☝🏼

This article is not only intended to make reading easier and enable an understanding of my writing style in the first place. It also aims to plow and fertilize the soil for the literary seeds of my loins (is it already foreseeable in which direction the content is going here?) so that the fruits and flowers of my ultra-hardcore neurodivergent brain (and loins 😁) can blossom in all their glory and you (please choose your preferred personal salutation) can enjoy them in an appropriate manner!

In short: without this unnecessarily complicated, convoluted, and long introduction, you would otherwise no longer understand what this is about within a single paragraph, so please be sure to read to the end, thank you!

And those who continue reading will probably also experience intense emotional stirrings of joy, amusement, arousal, excitement (neurologically the same thing!), inspiration, and emotion with the rest of this and all subsequent texts, which in turn gives me tremendous pleasure—even as I write these lines. Don’t worry, I won’t always express myself in such an unnecessarily pompous and complicated way in the coming texts – but it will definitely remain complex!

IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR READERS

Purpose of this blog:

• This blog is intended solely and exclusively for entertainment, education, and inspiration on the topics listed in this article.

Authors and copyright:

• The blog is run by multiple authors with multiple personalities. Everyone now: “What?” Me:
  • Most of the articles are by Elias Goldmund and are written from his perspective.
  • Exceptions are descriptions in which the authorship is ambiguous, as well as content whose origin cannot be clearly attributed because Elias and the biological operator of this website cannot agree on what belongs to whom and who they are in the first place, and so on…
• It is expressly prohibited to use texts or images or parts thereof in any form professionally without consulting the operator of the website!
• However, after consultation, this is very welcome, provided the source is cited!

Language:

• The authors unfortunately and gladly take the liberty of using language as they see fit, as they feel is appropriate. The language and content are completely arbitrary, in line with the authors’ respective ideas, sometimes at the expense of readability and comprehensibility, provided that the content is acceptable.
• This also applies to the use of gender in order to improve readability and legibility. We ask for your understanding if this approach does not meet everyone’s expectations. Where gender is important, it is clearly stated, and otherwise all human groups are treated with the utmost respect.
• This blog was originally written in German. Despite the high quality of the software used and manual revision of the translations by highly professional native speakers, some of the wordplay and charm may be lost, which is very regrettable. When in doubt, the authors recommend simply learning German quickly.
• All formulations originate from the collective minds of the authors. AI is used—if at all—for error correction and research, and only in absolute emergencies for the creation of content, but NEVER for artistic expression or creative language tasks, and is marked accordingly when necessary!
• Sometimes the author can’t seem to find the “publish” button and ends up writing something longer. That’s why we decided to add a “Don’t feel like reading the whole thing, give me the summary”-section before each article.
• The stylistic device of exaggeration is used in a comedic way and, for the purpose of amusement and curiosity, is sometimes only subtly marked. If anyone is triggered by the authors’ humor… …well, that’s just the way it is. And even then, we sincerely ask for your forbearance; it’s really never meant in a bad way 🙂

Transparency and safety:

• The suitability of all posts for young people is marked on a scale of “🌶️” (FSK 12), “🌶️🌶️” (FSK 16), and “🌶️🌶️🌶️” (FSK 18)!
• The truthfulness of all posts is rated on a scale (“1” – “5”), leaving just enough room to lose yourself in the question of how much truth there is in the texts and to add whatever you want to make up the rest:
  • “1” – Completely made up with no connection to reality: “What kind of sick… er, interesting world does the author actually live in?”
  • ‘2’ – Inspired by real people or events, but thrown together in a pretty wild way: “Wow, it’s crazy that something like that exists, almost unbelievable, I’d like to try it sometime.”
  • “3” – Real stories, but so heavily distorted that the real protagonists would hardly recognize themselves and readers will think: “Wow, I’d love to know how those people are doing now!”
  • “4” – Mostly true situations with an extra dose of fun, games, and excitement: “Wow, it’s crazy that something like that exists, it’s almost unbelievable, I’d like to try it sometime.”
  • ‘5’ – Accurate descriptions of true events (anonymized, of course!): “What kind of sick… er, interesting world does the author live in?”

Communication:

• Constructive (and very welcome critical!) comments and emails (kontakt@elias-goldmund.de) on all blog posts are very welcome and will be moderated by the authors on a trust basis. Seriously: I would appreciate feedback on how understandable and readable my texts are, that would help me a lot 🙂